Election Exhortation

There lived a great prophet who, though wise, had a habit of interjecting ornate verbosity into her grandiose revelations. Her public became disenchanted with her florid abstractions and began to question her circumlocutory phraseology. They asserted that the concrete messages in her visions were painful to unearth. They suggested that her acumen was fraudulent and her fluent face was a mask for obscure generalities and vague platitudes. They begged her for terse perspicuity. To which she responded:

I shall grasp my machete of succinctness, my chainsaw of pithiness and my axe of brevity. I shall put my bulldozer of brusqueness in gear; charge forth and destroy my tangled and turgid jungles of communication. I shall flatten the garrulous foliage and expose the desert of directness. Lucidity shall reign!

And so, she clear cut the rainforests of vivid verse from her world of words. Henceforth, the atmosphere of her prose was depleted of evocative ozone and a laconic famine followed. Adjectives, allegories, alliteration, metaphor, synonyms, simile and hyperbole all fell into a curt gray slash pile. The people were rewarded with clarity. As far as the eye could see and the ear could hear there was nothing. Nothing is easy to understand.

Moral: During an election nothing is easy to understand.